Dear Rich People of Memphis,
We get that you have money. Really, we do. I know that it may be hard for the rest of us to see from the other side of the beautifully crafted iron-and-stone walls that surround your expansive estates, but I think I speak for my fellow have-nots when I say that we occasionally envy your ability to pay all your bills on time without deciding which necessities to give up in the process. Furthermore, I think it’s great that many of you have chosen to donate portions of time or even your vast wealth to improving the world around you. Seriously. But do you really need a photographer along to capture said philanthropic pursuits?
Each time I leave the grocery store, I am assailed by your chiseled chins, unnaturally buoyant décolletage, and perfect dye-jobs as they’re featured on the cover of RSVP Magazine. Sure, nobody forces me to pick up a copy, but my curiosity compels me to do so. That, and the fact that they’re free. What I find each time is page after page of photos of rich and/or powerful people hobnobbing for a cause, and frankly, it sickens me.
Armed with cocktails and an inflated sense of purpose, you congregate on local ballrooms or each others’ houses for an evening of frolicking, food, and fundraising. Your galas are astounding, to be certain, and the gowns most of your botoxed-to-oblivion trophy wives wear are nothing short of breathtaking. If Bibi* and her ilk can show up dressed to the nines in Versace, you’d think maybe you could come up with more than $300 among the lot of you to divide between more than fifteen charities. Those are numbers low enough for me to wrap my vastly inferior proletarian mind around. If my math is right, that amounts to a maximum of $20 per charity. Way to go, Memphis’ Top 5%! Have another glass of Clos de Mesnil and pat yourselves on the back!
I’ve gone through months of RSVP back issues, and I’ve noticed something. You give more money to the Arts than you do to helping people who sorely need it. Don’t get me wrong - as an out-of-work writer, I’m all for the Arts. But when was the last time a Picasso satiated the appetite of a hungry child? How does planting rare and exotic orchids in the Botanic Gardens improve the quality of life for people who can’t afford the admission price to behold their beauty?
If you want to have a party, have a party. If you want to have a magazine dedicated to celebrating your excesses and self-aggrandizing behavior, be my guest. But don’t do such things and pass it off as philanthropy. It’s not philanthropy. It’s PR, pure and simple. Try going out into the community, rolling up the sleeves on your Brooks Brothers shirts, and doing some actual work for these causes you so visibly champion. If you absolutely must have photographers, why not have them take pictures of the conditions you’ve set out to improve? If you want to be philanthropic, consider banding together to urge Haithcock Communications to save trees by not printing this useless piece of fluff journalism.
Your wallets are in the right place, I guess, but where are your hearts? I urge you to seriously ponder that question the next time you’re shoving those delicate wild game hors d’ oeuvres in your overprivileged faces. Throwing money at a problem does not equal a solution.
Sincerely yours,
The Unlikely Heroine
p.s. - I’m not even getting started on the Cotton Carnival.
*The Bibi depicted in this blog entry is fictitious. Any similarity to actual Bibis, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
2 responses so far ↓
Mister Merkin // March 26, 2008 at 4:14 pm
RSVP is a strange accident that has thrust the lives and identities of these rich people and social climbers into grocery stores everywhere. There is an unspoken code of class that varies from region to region of when and how wealthy people can show it off. The Delta is probably the worst about it though. Here, there is no shame in showing it off, in fact, it’s encouraged.
As for the charities: as long as resources go to an effective charity (of which there are actually very few) then you definitely have a point. No child should ever have to be hungry or without healthcare but then I question the parents’ judgment and priorities before I question the unwillingness of the haves to truly help. I think job training, education, and daycare for the ‘un’ and ‘under’-employed is the best way to help Memphis. Further, cut the welfare, no more money just for having another kid, and hold our our education system up to some standards, please. ..and no, ‘No Child Left Behind’ doesn’t count. Legalize Marajuana. Kill the other laws that provide low hanging fruit for police departments to use as an excuse that they are actually doing their job. Clear the jails of the nonviolents, then hunt and throw in the real violent criminals that live in the neighborhoods the police are too lazy to patrol. There’s more but I’ll stop there before one final suggestion as per the last post: Get rid of King Willie. Then, there might still be hope for you yet, Memphis.
thatdanachick // March 26, 2008 at 4:24 pm
I’m not advocating further handouts for adults who have the ability to improve their own lot but do not, Mister Merkin (ha!). What I’m saying is that there are people who did not ask to be in the position they’re in (primarily children) and who need a hand UP to find their way out of it. You’re right, though, in that flaunting wealth while masquerading as philanthropists seems to be a largely Southern thing.
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